Ego

What does it mean to dissolve ego?  I wonder sometimes, and try to understand why we choose to find ourselves attached to such ideals, like superiority, or what it means to be successful.  In my own journey I find that it is hard to admit that I need to learn to understand better.  It’s times like these in your life you find yourself at a point of expertise or seniority that you feel like you have graduated.  I am slowly find out in my years of living and learning that you never graduate from anything.  In essence the growth of understanding has no check points, horizons or finish lines.  To take a step back and try to understand the bigger picture can be such a liberating feeling.  Understanding that it is fine to say that I do not understand, and I do not know the absolute.  It is a signal that in the greater scheme of things, that in the lack of that knowledge, in that depth of which is dark, is where you will find the absolute truth.  The first step to knowing is not knowing, it is the cusp of who we are as human beings, and it is the nature of the true explorer.

This brings me to ego.  Sometimes we may have encountered situations in our life that we have done wrong in either circumstance, of what we say or what we do.  When we recognize these imperfections that our ego sometimes displays it is a chance to improve.  One way I have always gauged myself is when it was too late to take back an offense, I try to understand why it was committed.   What needs to be considered is not what was the nature of the offense, but who suffered and what if that was you.  The ability to see yourself in others, to walk within their shoes, is a skill I am far from understanding.  The only thing I can learn from it is that you are your actions.  There isn’t enough words in the world to describe an action, in any case you can build a volume about one’s action, that is why actions speak louder than words.

I hope one day I can practice this understanding without thinking of it.  Try to subdue my own ego in order to see the bigger picture.  One thing that has been apparent is as I see the bigger picture, it seems to always become larger.  This is the true handicap that an ego can truly steal from a person.  Unfortunately, I feel this type of handicap prevents us from a life worth living, and a journey worth walking.  My only hope, and belief, is that you as an individual can find the happiness you seek, which is in the knowledge of your experiences.  This would be a life worth living.